Mine

I wish i knew what to do
I wish my dream would come true
I wish you would notice me....the way i notice you

I see you all the time but u give me no attention
When you talk about guys i want my name to be one that you mention

But you seem so unreacheable....so high above
I want us to go together...maybe even fall in love

But i may be getting ahead of myself daydreaming about someone i dont know
I just want an opportunity for something between us to grow
Even if it starts off slow.....

......i want something to be there
Most dudes would try to dog you and that aint never fair
Im tryna treat you good better than you've ever had
Life wit me would be bliss you wont ever need to be mad....

....or ever try to be upset
I dont want to sound cocky but im prolly the best dude you've never met

I just need to get a chance to show you what im bout
These just aint no words thats comin out my mouth

Im really being sincere and really speakin from the heart
I just want YOU to understand and thats the hard part
Cuz i dont even know where to start.....

....what to say OR what to do
All i know is in my MIND....i kinda sorta love you


Please dont think im a crazy person or some stalker or somethin
I just want to start somethin cuz right now i have nothin

No one to call my own
No one waiting on me at home
No one i can call late night and cake with on the phone

I want you to be on my throne
I be your king you be my queen
We can be like Will and Jada wit no movies in between

Yea i know that was kinda lame but im just expressing myself
For you i'd do it everyday until i had nothing left

But i guess im just rambling and you might not like anything im saying
But thats ok
Thats alright

Maybe one day i'll have the courage to show you this letter but that'll prolly take some time
I just hope one day.....when you think about the person you're in love with.....his name will be MINE

The Crossroads...

You once made me feel complete
I felt like I couldn’t see myself without you
Waking up everyday was a joy
Life was great
Just me and you…..thats all I needed
I used to hate to see u leave
I couldn’t wait for you to get back to me
If anybody were to have an objection to what we had……I wouldn’t care….cuz u were mine
If you needed something and I had it I would spend my last just to make sure u got what u wanted
I would have done anything for you
Gladly
I tried the best I could to keep you happy but in the end…
You took me for granted
You never appreciated how much I did for you
You didn’t uphold what we had with the same amount of respect as me
You did me dirty on many occasions but I still just tried to overlook it
I tried to move past it
But how much is too much ?
How much did you expect me to take before I left ?
They say u don’t know what u got till its gone but….
Maybe if u didn’t know what u had u didn’t deserve it
Maybe it takes u losing something great that u once had to make u a more mature person and appreciate what comes to u in the future
………..
I don’t think I can be repaired
I don’t think the wounds I suffered from you can be healed
You damaged me….
Deep down
But still I tried to atleast be “cool” wit you
Or atleast be in your life in a minor way
But it doesn’t look like that can happen either
When we kick it its more problems…new problems….and old problems
Unnecessary problems
Stress….
Arguments
It seems as if cutting you off completely is the only way for me to achieve happiness
But will that really bring me happiness ?
It just looks as if there is no way for me to be happy
Don’t know what to do
Completely lost
Wish I knew what my next move should be
I been stuck in transition mode for months
Im stuck in the same place…..not moving towards any direction
What is a person to do when they have no idea where to go ?
I guess just not go anywhere
I really see now why dudes do females dirty
Cuz it seems to me like if you don’t do them dirty they will do it to you
Play or get played
I should just start lying to females right ?
Cheating on females right ?
Doggin females right ?
But they say ur not supposed to take past experiences and put that anger on ppl in your future but….
How else can I protect myself ?
???
A lot of times I regret ever meeting you
I feel like I wish I never met you and I wish we never became what we were but…
Who’s to say that’s how I really feel ?
I really don’t know
But I guess until I find out which direction I need to go in to find happiness I’ll just be stuck….

At the crossoads…

Realization

When you love someone the most.....is when it hurts the most
They say you're the most important person in their life
They say they would never do anything to break your heart
They say that they're never going to replace you
They say they love spending time with you
THEY SAY THEY LOVE YOU
They say they want to make you happy
They say you're one of a kind
They say they support you
They say you complete them
THEY SAY THEY LOVE YOU
They say they cant see themselves away from you
They say they will overlook the little stuff
They say they want to make a family
They say they can see themselves growing old with you
THEY SAY THEY LOVE YOU

but they cheated......


THEY LIED


funny how love is........

Time Machine

I can't seem to forget my past
I can't forget painful memories
I can't forget actions that took place
My brain represses things that it doesn't want to deal with
Once I finally think im good
Memories come back to haunt me like a nightmare
It feels like im right back in those situations
Reliving the nightmares
My own thoughts are destroying me
They say time heals all wounds but....
How much time ?
No matter how much alcohol I drink...
No matter how much weed I smoke...
No matter how many pills I pop...
I still rememberAnd the wounds still feel the same
F R E S H
No amount of apologies...
No amount of gifts...
No amount of money...
Could get me what I really want
And that's to forget
Which will probably never happen
So until I find a way to forget...
I'll be saving my money to buy the best thing never invented

A Time Machine