Monday, October 20, 2008

The Crossroads...


You once made me feel complete
I felt like I couldn’t see myself without you
Waking up everyday was a joy
Life was great
Just me and you…..thats all I needed
I used to hate to see u leave
I couldn’t wait for you to get back to me
If anybody were to have an objection to what we had……I wouldn’t care….cuz u were mine
If you needed something and I had it I would spend my last just to make sure u got what u wanted
I would have done anything for you
Gladly
I tried the best I could to keep you happy but in the end…
You took me for granted
You never appreciated how much I did for you
You didn’t uphold what we had with the same amount of respect as me
You did me dirty on many occasions but I still just tried to overlook it
I tried to move past it
But how much is too much ?
How much did you expect me to take before I left ?
They say u don’t know what u got till its gone but….
Maybe if u didn’t know what u had u didn’t deserve it
Maybe it takes u losing something great that u once had to make u a more mature person and appreciate what comes to u in the future
………..
I don’t think I can be repaired
I don’t think the wounds I suffered from you can be healed
You damaged me….
Deep down
But still I tried to atleast be “cool” wit you
Or atleast be in your life in a minor way
But it doesn’t look like that can happen either
When we kick it its more problems…new problems….and old problems
Unnecessary problems
Stress….
Arguments
It seems as if cutting you off completely is the only way for me to achieve happiness
But will that really bring me happiness ?
It just looks as if there is no way for me to be happy
Don’t know what to do
Completely lost
Wish I knew what my next move should be
I been stuck in transition mode for months
Im stuck in the same place…..not moving towards any direction
What is a person to do when they have no idea where to go ?
I guess just not go anywhere
I really see now why dudes do females dirty
Cuz it seems to me like if you don’t do them dirty they will do it to you
Play or get played
I should just start lying to females right ?
Cheating on females right ?
Doggin females right ?
But they say ur not supposed to take past experiences and put that anger on ppl in your future but….
How else can I protect myself ?
???
A lot of times I regret ever meeting you
I feel like I wish I never met you and I wish we never became what we were but…
Who’s to say that’s how I really feel ?
I really don’t know
But I guess until I find out which direction I need to go in to find happiness I’ll just be stuck….

At the crossoads…

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Realization


When you love someone the most.....is when it hurts the most
They say you're the most important person in their life
They say they would never do anything to break your heart
They say that they're never going to replace you
They say they love spending time with you
THEY SAY THEY LOVE YOU
They say they want to make you happy
They say you're one of a kind
They say they support you
They say you complete them
THEY SAY THEY LOVE YOU
They say they cant see themselves away from you
They say they will overlook the little stuff
They say they want to make a family
They say they can see themselves growing old with you
THEY SAY THEY LOVE YOU

but they cheated......


THEY LIED


funny how love is........

Time Machine

I can't seem to forget my past
I can't forget painful memories
I can't forget actions that took place
My brain represses things that it doesn't want to deal with
Once I finally think im good
Memories come back to haunt me like a nightmare
It feels like im right back in those situations
Reliving the nightmares
My own thoughts are destroying me
They say time heals all wounds but....
How much time ?
No matter how much alcohol I drink...
No matter how much weed I smoke...
No matter how many pills I pop...
I still rememberAnd the wounds still feel the same
F R E S H
No amount of apologies...
No amount of gifts...
No amount of money...
Could get me what I really want
And that's to forget
Which will probably never happen
So until I find a way to forget...
I'll be saving my money to buy the best thing never invented

A Time Machine